I’ve debated if I should actually “publish” this post… I’m a pretty positive-upbeat person and try not to dwell on the negative. But these comments, let me tell ya.
Things, mothers (ahem, “experienced” mothers) say.
Please, mamas. Just please. Save yourself the warnings…
“you just wait and see what it’s like with two”
“will two make you happier”
“your world is about to get rocked”
“you won’t have time to dress henry cute anymore for school pictures”
“are you sure you want another”
“wait until your pregnant with a toddler… you’ll see”
“your walls will never be white again”
The comments. They are never-ending. And I literally… JUST CANNOT ANYMORE.
First of all. Duh. Is it NOT blatantly obvious when you add another anything to the mix that life will get a little harder? I might not be a brain surgeon, but I’m smart enough to know that when you add a baby into the mix, shit will reallllllly get real.
Maybe these mama-comment-advice-givers are trying to be nice? Perhaps they think they’re being helpful?
Spare yourself and save your breath. I take offense to your nonsense.
The amount of comments that I received prior to getting pregnant with baby #2 and during this pregnancy are down right disturbing. I know these comment givers aren’t tryyyying to be mean (maybe funny).
But it’s annoying.
First of all. I’m days away from turning 34 and my hubby’s 40th is right around the corner… we aren’t spring chickens. Our family and best friends are well into the multiple children category. We’ve been “warned”, as in, ‘we’ve seen it with our own eyes’ (for years) how hard two children can be. Yet, it never once, changed our mind during the fight towards our children.
We do not need your warning.
If crazy, time-sucking, chaotic, life-draining, beautiful-little-lives isn’t something that we wanted to experience… we wouldn’t have spent the time, energy, years and money to get where we are today. We’ve been dreaming of the madness. We want the crazy. We cannot wait.
Actually, instead of telling me how hard life is when another human being is brought into this world. Allow me to tell you what almost 6 years, 7 IUIs, 2 rounds of IVF is like… while you’re not only balancing a business, home, husband, but also raising a very active toddler. Let me explain what it’s like to keep your uncontrollable emotions at bay so that your child doesn’t realize how bad mommy is hurting. Let me tell you about the 66 months of negative pregnancy tests. Or perhaps, I can tell you what it’s like to fight for a baby through your entire marriage. Can I also shine some shimmer on how it almost tore my marriage apart? Or, how it made me question Gods love? Can I tell you what it’s like to go through that rollercoaster to find out that you are pregnant, twice, and then immediately have it taken away from you?
Allow me to tell you, “how that would rock your world”… and then, please, prep me on what two children is like… because clearly, you’re the only person I know that is a mother of two.
I’ve turned the years of pain, anger and frustration into a world of gratitude… I’m SO incredibly thankful to love, care and raise these beautiful children that I’ve been blessed with. I can’t wait for the sleepless nights, coupled with the exhaustion and Henry’s outrageous public tantrums. I’ve never treated this pregnancy anything less than I did with Henry. I count the minutes and re-read the daily app (on my phone) multiple times in a 24 hour period. We constantly talk about what this gift from God will look like. How will she arrive? When will she arrive? Having two children is everything that we’ve ever wanted (actually, we wanted 3… even 4… but that’s not an option). Yes, I fully understand that, ‘our world will be rocked’, but do you think that’s something that we don’t want?
This pregnancy wasn’t accidental, a lot of effort went into this child (both children) and we’ve fully thought about the hardships that lie ahead of us. We are just so thankful that our fight is close to over and we can’t wait to experience this new phase in life… together… as a family… with two, beautiful and healthy children.
Instead of mamas constantly trying to give their advice and warnings…. why can’t they just give thanks and be humble? Motherhood is by far one of the hardest jobs in this world, but with that, comes the rewards. So, instead of the negative warnings, tell me how rewarding it is? Tell me how satisfying your job as a mommy of two is? Tell me what you would have done differently once your 2nd child came into the world. Tell me what makes you a good mother. Those are the kind of warnings I want to hear and look forward to.
Sorry if this comes across as negative. I’m one of the most positive people you’ll ever be in a room with… but like I said earlier, ‘I just can’t even anymore’.
Also… my white walls will always be white thanks to my love for a magic eraser.
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