2016 Personal Goals

2016

< I’d like to insert here that I’m a terrible writer, so no judgement please! >

I want to live a more calm and simple life.  I’m not sure how possible that is… but I want to try.  I often find that I over commit myself and at the end of the day I’m overwhelmed, exhausted and sometimes even regretful of how I used my time.  I’ve realized that the only people that I should be over committing myself to is my family.  They are the ones who need me the most right now.

Simplify.  Find Purpose.  Be Present. 

Those are a few words that I’ll revisit in the body of this post.

2016 – let’s do this.

All photos by Perry Vaile

1.) Monthly dates with my hubby

Sounds so simple, doesn’t it?  Prior to Henry, we spent years wrapped up in each others lives.  All we had to focus on was each other and our careers.  We always made a point to get out of our house and sit down for a dinner together.  Something that took us out of the norm and during that 2 hour date we were forced to talk, listen and fall in love all over again.  We downright suck at that “task” now.  We rarely go out together and when we do it’s double dates with friends.

I purchased a write-it-down kind of planner and my goal is to plan one date per month, secure a sitter and make it happen.  John and I could definitely use a little one-on-one time.

This was actually one of John’s first goals of 2016 too.

2.) Find a church home

This has been on our minds for the last two years since having Henry.  We still haven’t baptized/ dedicated him (I know, eye roll… so bad on my part and it’s been haunting me for a long time).  We’re in the church limbo.  We love Forrest Hill (occasionally go), but it’s about a 35 minute drive.  Would love to find something closer.

3.) Day date with mommy

Dedicate one day per week to my sweet son, Henry.  Right now my schedule is all over the place with work.  It’s hard to set a consistent schedule, because the needs of my bride’s trials, bridal sessions, engagement sessions, maternity sessions, etc. can start at 5am for sunrise shoots and go until 6pm for sunset shoots.  The work is a blessing, but my time with Henry is limited, especially since I work every Saturday as well.  My plan moving forward is to dedicate one day each week to son.  Just the two of us, from sun up to sun down.

4.) Limit my time on social media

Be more present.  Put my phone down, put my camera down.  Enjoy the moments as they happen instead of looking though my phone to capture each exciting moment.  I’m so bad about this.  I want everything documented.  I need to focus on creating lasting memories.

To be completely honest, I find myself staring at my phone more than I do my son.  What am I thinking?  Time with him is so short-lived.  I actually started working on this goal by logging completely out of social media during different hours of the day.  I even changed my password and made it EXTREMELY long and complicated.  I’m not tempted to log back in.

5.) Stop worrying so much about what other people think

Easier said than done.  I’ve been trying to work on this for as long as I can remember.  One of my biggest weaknesses – caring too much about what other people think about me.  I’m such a people pleaser and I care wayyyy to much to be quite honest.  I don’t want to ever hurt anyones feelings, say the wrong thing, disappoint anyone… the list goes on and on.

My mind never stops and if I haven’t heard from someone in a few days my mind will go here… “omg, I haven’t heard from so-in-so in a week, she’s probably mad at me, I need to text her asap”… I grab my phone and start a text convo during dinner with my son and hubby.  Where are my priorities.  I spend more time caring what other people think about me, or upsetting someone else, or making sure I said the right thing, when what I should really be concerned with is giving time and love to the two people who matter most to me – my sweet boy and his daddy.

6.) Support my husband and lift him up

I need to do a better job of telling my hubby how proud I am of him.  How much I love him.  How much I appreciate him.  He does so much for our little family.  He puts up with me for one.  I could burst into tears right now thinking about what an amazing man that I’m married to.   I think about the trials that we faced trying to get pregnant with Henry.  Three years of ups, followed by some of the ugliest downs.  My heart was shattered.  I was a mean, mean person to him at times.  But no matter what, he always held me, he listed to me and he never gave up on me.  I think about those dark days often and I’m truly blessed that he stayed by my side.

He’s so wonderful, y’all.  I mean I can’t even find the words to express how amazing that man is.  From the laundry, making the bed, making dinner, being so hands on with Henry, GROCERY SHOPPING, making sure that I’m always taken care of, yard work, jobs… I mean, he does it all.  I need to make this goal a huge focus of mine.  Just reminding him with simple words, cards, notes, texts, emails… how thankful I am for him.

7.) More focus on motherhood

I feel like I’m repeating myself here.  Again, I’m referring to the phone – I need to put.it.down!  Focus on Henry and the needs that he has.

Henry turned two on December 7th,  boy I thought I had a temperamental one year old.  The day he turned two it was like a light switch went off and the terrible twos started.  Between December 7th and Christmas Eve I cannot express the change we went through (hard change – tears for both of us).  The tantrums that we were used at one year escalated to a whole new level.  There were so many little battles that felt so big… a new level of independence.

On Christmas Eve, I had a coming to Jesus and realized how he needs my undivided attention at times (note: at times, not hovering).  Especially when I’m disciplining him.  I’ve made a few personal adjustments and since it’s been night and day for us.  He’s two so I know we’ll go right back down from where we came from… but I’m enjoying this small victory.

The last week he’s let me get him dressed without a fight – giving him outfit choices and making it a game has been huge.  Instead of me packing his school “pack-pack” (backpack), I let him pack it… and he always packs his yellow Micky underwear (no, he’s not potty trained).  He makes mommy’s coffee (aka stirs in my creamer) for the ride into school.  I’ve moved all of his snacks to the lower level shelf in the pantry and I’ve given up on controlling when he can snack.  Instead, I’ve pulled out the stuff I don’t want him snacking on (fruit snacks, etc.) and left the pouches, gold fish, dried fruit, crackers, etc. so he can easily grab a snack during anytime of the day.  Getting him in and out of the car was a 20-minute-stiff-child-tantrum ordeal and there were days when I honestly wanted to drive out of our garage without him strapped into his carseat.  Now, he helps me strap him in.  Even waits by the car door when I open the garage.

This last week together was one of the best weeks we’ve ever had.

8.) Better communication with my hubby

We are so bad with communication now that we have Henry.  The demands of life, jobs and our kiddo, 9.9 times out of 10 knocks us out of our daily routine.  He often times claims that I don’t tell him certain things… let’s be real, I tell him everything, I blame ‘selective hearing’ (and perhaps his old age). 😉 Anyways, we both got planners this year and our goal is to compare personal calendars every Sunday.  We just need to do a better job of putting our phones and laptops down to reconnect… and watch our shows.

9.) Start / finish Henry’s baby book

SO BAD!  No mom of the year over here.  I have stacks of artwork and scraps of papers collected that I planned to eventually write down/ adhere in a baby book.  Well, I finally found his baby book, so now I just need to make this happen.

10.) Organize photos

I have files and files and files and FOLDERS of pictures that I’ve taken scattered all over my computer.  I need to organize the photos, transfer to an external hard drive and start ordering photo books.

11.) Simplify.  Find Purpose.  Be Present. 

I think that sums it up.

12.) Give back

I would love to find a charity, youth group, something that I’m passionate about.  Perhaps my purpose and give back could be connecting with couples who long to be parents.  John and I continue to walk the infertility walk, but after 5+ years of trying to conceive, I feel like we have a humble positive outlook and approach. I definitely think that together, we could lift the spirits up of couples or individuals who are struggling to become parents.  Truly a passion of mine!  Ok, solved!  Found how I’m giving back!

13.) Make Henry a big brother

xoxo

All photos by Perry Vaile